Caught Between Two Worlds

So January 2012 is flying by. I’ve had every intention of writing more. There are so many things going on that I’ve wanted to write about, but it’s that same number of crazy things that keep me too busy to write.

Here’s just a taste:

Week of January 1st – I worked at Thomas Nelson, lived at home in Nashville and worked toward all of the logistics that moving requires – finding a place to live, getting our house listed for rent, etc.

Week of January 8th – I went up to Arlington, VA, where I lived in a hotel for a week and dove into new employee training week at International Justice Mission.

Week of January 16th – Back in Nashville, I’m working my final week at Thomas Nelson. Booking moving trucks, one-way plane tickets, & the car shipper.

Week of January 23rd – Still in Nashville, but will be working full-time now for IJM, from home.

Week of January 30th – I will work for IJM from Nashville to start the week. The movers come to pack us up. I fly out on the 2nd and move into the new place in Alexandria, VA on the 3rd.

It’s getting out of hand. Just as a kicker, my last class for my MBA program also started this month. I’m starting to feel like a professional juggler.

Two jobs, two homes, two different lives…

Alexandria/IJM – A new job to learn, challenges to face, a whole new city to explore & conquer, new co-workers to meet…

Nashville/Thomas Nelson – A job to wrap up, wonderful co-workers to say goodbye to, a life to pack up, a house to rent, soaking up time with amazing friends and having to say goodbye to way too many…

I feel completely caught between two worlds.

I had an amazing week at International Justice Mission last week. I could write an entire post (or 4) on just everything I experienced and learned. I’m so excited for all that is in store!

But I’m starting to also go through a grieving process for my life here in Nashville. I’ve found myself way more emotional than normal. It’s hard to say goodbye. I’ve been so comfortable here for so long. This is the longest I’ve been in any one place, ever – 6.5 years. [I don’t count Clarksburg, MD, where I grew up, simply because I changed schools every 3 years or so.] I’ve been at the same job, in the same town for 6 years now. It’s not easy to wrap up into a tidy bow.

So I find myself getting emotional at random times these days – singing a random hymn in church on Sunday, sharing a last lunch together with a dear friend, hugging a co-worker goodbye today. I feel like I’m starting to have to say goodbye to someone every day now.

After spending last week away at IJM, as I flew back into Nashville on Saturday, I had this very strange feeling of “I don’t belong here anymore,” and that was strange. God, who has been planning this for our lives since before we were born, has been preparing us for this for a while now. He’s been slowing pulling up different roots, one at a time. I know it’s time to go, but that doesn’t necessarily make it any easier.

An exciting journey lies ahead, but I have a life to say goodbye to here also. There’s a season for everything though, right…

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
     a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,   
     a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,   
     a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
     a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
     a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

 ~Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

For now, I’m living life caught between two worlds.


4 thoughts on “Caught Between Two Worlds

  1. Times of transition usually are challenging, full of a mixture of grief and anticipation, laced with both longings to go back and desires to move forward. You aren’t really caught. That would imply that you are stuck. You are way to active right now to be considered stuck! You are just transitioning to a new phase in your life. I will be praying for you as you make the move. I am so excited that God has called you to a new place of service. Many people surely will be blessed and inspired by your obedience to Him, and by what we can see Him doing in your life.

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