Feeling Restless

Have you ever felt restless? Like something just wasn’t right or something was missing, but you couldn’t put your finger on it?

I have. And when it happens, it’s something that I really can’t quite figure out.

I have a wonderful husband, a great family, good friends, and a good job. I try to do good things (& always ought to strive to do more).

But sometimes that feeling creeps in. I feel a little lonely, a little discombobulated. Restless.

A couple months ago I stumbled upon a post by Sheila Walsh that described exactly what I had been feeling but couldn’t figure out. She hit the nail on the head, and it has stayed with me.

Read her post “Restless” here.

She describes this restlessness as “a sacred ache, an ancient longing” that points us continually to Christ, and that it won’t go away “until we make it all the way home”. It tells us “that home is what we’re made for”. Like a constant reminder.

To me… this makes complete sense. And I find it comforting.

Do you get restless? What do you think about this idea?


This Comfortable Life

This is based on a conversation I had with my oldest brother a couple months ago. It has stayed with me…

I live in a comfortable house.

I drive my comfortable car to my comfortable job where I earn a comfortable salary.

I come home to my comfortable food, my comfortable AC/heat/running water, and my comfortable family.

I have a group of comfortable friends, we lead our comfortable Bible study groups, and go to a comfortable church with all of the programs you could ever imagine.

I have enough to buy all of the comfortable clothes/shoes/accessories a girl could want.

We may not be the richest people in the US (in my mind, we are nowhere close to it), but by world standards we are filthy rich. Go to this website and put in your annual household income. It will rank you on a scale of the world’s wealth. Very eye-opening.

I wrote another post about how we are blessed to be a blessing. You can read it here.

So in all of this comfortable life, what is God calling us to do?

What more does He require of us?
And how can we make sure that we are using our blessings to bless others?

Our Noisy Lives

Most of the time, I don’t like silence. When I’m home by myself, I tend to automatically turn on the TV, just to have the background noise (particularly after dark). When I’m driving, I have to have the radio, or better yet, I have to find someone to call and chat with (with my hand’s free device, of course!). When I’m waiting somewhere for someone or something, I often have to find something to look at or fiddle with, so as not to have to just sit awkwardly waiting & staring.

Our society is becoming increasingly busy and increasingly “noisy” – whether it’s audible noise or just stuff to fill up our time. I think sometimes we are afraid of the silence. Afraid of feeling awkward or of being bored.

Last week was a pretty crazy week at work. All I wanted to do when I got home was to turn on the TV, lay on the couch, and veg out. Just to have mindless activity that didn’t require much out of me. We don’t normally watch a whole lot of TV around our house. We don’t even have standard cable – just the basic networks. But we manage to find something to watch when we want to.

So when this weekend rolled around, we actually felt like we had overdosed on TV for a while. Friday night, we ate dinner, watched one short show, and then turned off the TV and read. It was nice. It was peaceful. I felt rejuvenated and able to process some thoughts. The trend continued through the weekend. I actually got some really good thinking done, about several things. Imagine that.

Honestly, I think lately I have been slightly afraid of being too silent for fear of what God will whisper to my heart. We’ve been pondering lately what He is calling us to do – from the small daily things up to our grander life purposes. (That’s a lot to think about, I know.) And there has been a  piece of me that is afraid of what He is going to require of me. What will He ask us to do or give up, and will I be able to handle it and do a good job – at whatever IT may be? One of my main prayer requests to my small group of friends recently has been for courage – courage to follow through on whatever may come up. So we’ll see.

Does this train of thought strike a chord with anyone else? Do you find yourself addicted to the noise?
And maybe related for you, or maybe not, do you find yourself somewhat afraid of what God is going to ask/require of you when you’re really listening?

What I’d Rather Be Doing…

It seems like everyone is so busy these days. We do it to ourselves, mostly. We fill our schedules so full that we miss out on some really meaningful, worthwhile activities and experiences.

This is my little frustrated rant to myself about the things I wish I had more time to do. The things that I really feel like I’m missing out on in life. I have been working on my MBA part-time for two years now. I probably have about one more year to go. I spend most free evenings, weekends, and even lunch breaks at work (that aren’t spent in meetings) studying and doing homework. This is a choice I made, to get an MBA. But lately, in the last few months, I’ve questioned it constantly. I am antsy and can’t wait for it to be over. I have an ache in my heart that longs for other things..

When I get my evenings and weekends back… when I don’t have to spend them working on Corporate Finance or Business Management homework, these are the things I want to do more of:

  • Read more. Books currently waiting in my stack include Radical, Crazy Love, Lynchpin (I’ve read half), Terrify No More, and others.
  • Cook & bake more, for the sake of being a good wife and for the fun of it. I have a growing stack of recipes that I want to try, but it takes so much time and effort to organize, coordinate with sales/coupons, and then do the actual cooking.
  • Be a friendship partner to a refugee family. Help them adjust to American life, learn English, etc. I have really been wanting to do this for about a year, but don’t want to let a family down by not having the proper amount of time to commit to them.
  • Volunteer more with random opportunities that arise. Be able to seize those moments when they come up.
  • Commit more time to my role as a Child Ambassador with World Vision. I need to put in more effort in contacting area churches to seek out opportunities to promote child sponsorship to others.
  • Spend more time developing relationships with others. Everyone seems to be too busy for each other. It is hard to coordinate quality time with most people and I think relationships suffer because of it.
  • Blog more… and/or have time to do the things in my life that are worth blogging about (see some of these above).

What about you? What activities/experiences do you wish you had more time for?